“You think you kno me, but you have no idea.”

November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011



WARNING: THIS IS A FREAKING LONG POST, SO IF YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO WORDS, YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN, THERE’S PICTURES. =)


PRIMARY SCHOOL, I was a nerd core. I dreamt I was a champion. Frizzy hair, big spectacles, dark and short, oh you wouldn't wanna kno more. I was a very narrow-minded, petty girl. I got jealous over my own friends. Mobile phones and internet were no existence in my life... yet. I had my first puppy love, and the only communication there was between the two of us were through letters, hello, it was the "In" thing then k. But I was more crazy over boybands like Backstreet boys, A1, Nsync, memorized their lyrics at the back of my head. One thing that never changed up till now was the hatred I’ve faithfully built for Mathematics. My first disappointment ever was knowing the WWE were fake. Tsk. I was never a bully. Neither was I ever bullied, which I thank God for that. Oh, did I tell you my best friend was Marissa? Remember you wore the “Care” t-shirt and mine was “Love” and we fought over which house were better? And you hardly knew how to speak Malay but look at how much you've grown now. =)

SECONDARY SCHOOL, a new cycle began. We started as the youngest, once again. And you get to see the mini matreps and minahreps of primary school turning into mouse. Nothing much changed for me though, at first. Still pretty much a nerd core. No make up, anti-contact lens and strive for the best. Harmony between friends, everybody was nice to each other. No betrayal, no hatred, none of that. My sister was my role model, I looked up to her. (Still do) I copied her everything. The way she dressed, the music she listened to, even the way she walked. I remember she used to vandalize the tables and chairs in our house and I would do the same. We were partners in crime. Natasha were too young to join us. But I was more of a follower. I couldn’t think for myself then. So once upon a time, my sister was an emo chick, ever since Good Charlotte came to life. I dressed as though I attend 100 funeral wakes a day. WHY? Cos my sister was emo and she was cool. But that ended soon after, phew. Then I had menses. Yea, what has it got to do with my change, you might think. I had blood coming out from between my legs and it scared the shit out of me and I grew the ultimate balls. hahahaha… Not. Still, no one bullies me, I bully no one. \m/ peace.

NAFA YEAR ONE, I had friends who shared the same passion, we do the same stuff, we study the same stuff we are THE SAME STUFF. Where I had the most memorable assignments piled up bit by bit. Still, I became a happier person, for awhile. But I wasn’t a good person, I did terrible things and Karma wanted me to pay. During the times, a lot of crap happened. I fought with my best friends and it changed everything. After that day, nothing stays the same. This is how bad stories end. But it's also how the best stories, begin. And Fitri, the text you gave me almost brought me to tears. Btw, You're missed too darling. You have no idea. I have a boyfriend, who you might kno by now is serving the NS. We're completely world's apart, to the point of thinking that we were each others’ Karma. I was scared of him, he was scared of me. It was kinda depressing, if you were to ask me. I can't help but worry of the bad things that may happen. Because of my past experiences, I became more protective towards my heart that sometimes I thought of giving up. But it was that very moment when he went down on his knees, each time I see myself through his eyes, I was godsmacked by all the things that he did. I can't tell you what it really feels like, but it made me realize then, that hey, everybody needs chances. I gave my word to love you. Cos I'm a lover, not a fighter. K takde link pulak. =x Hahahaha.


Moving on..


See, my life, it changes every minute of every day. I lose friends. I gain friends. I realized my friend wasn’t ever really my friend, and that person I used to hate can make a really good friend. I looked for love. I found love. I lose love. I realize all long that I’ve been loved. Along the way, I laugh. I cry. I laugh so hard that I cried. I do this, I do that. I really wish I hadn’t done that. Then I learn from that and am glad that I did. I have my ups. I have my downs. I thought I had it under control. I saw good movies. I saw bad movies. I wonder if my life is just one big movie. I look at others and wish I was them. Then I realize who they are and am glad that I'm me. I love life. I hate life. In the end I just find myself happy to be living life, no matter what’s thrown at me.




TAG REPLIES!



CACAT NAK MAMPOS: diam la kau. irritating bugger.

AIZAT: hahaha. love you too baby. =)

ARFAH: aww thanks! hope this one is better. =x Anyways, I'm doing alright too! =)

HAFIZAH: Yeah, it's never easy. =/ Yesyes, hope to see you around too. =)

B: k b. thanks. -.-"

FARAIN: yeah babe. You've helped alot you kno that. And love ya too. Hope all's good on your side. =)

KAKAK: I pray she'll rest in peace. Still miss her once in awhile. It's sucks when i think about her and then it hit me that she's not here anymore.


Goodnight, cyber world.