“You think you kno me, but you have no idea.”
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talk about a fucking EGO trip.
Monday, March 22, 2010 || 4:54 AM
Make it my fault, win the game
Point the finger, place the blame
It does me up and down,
It doesn't matter now.
It's raining and the world is crying, just like I am. Honestly, I've grown sick and tired of this game. The empty promises, the reverse psycho babble, the false declarations, the pretend pursuit. And I'm sick of playing the broken hearted girl. The one who cries bucketful of tears for those who are probably laughing at me right now. The one who's always left wondering what happened. Most of all, I hate the players of the game.
One thing I've learnt in life is that, there will be people who won't like you for whatever reason. Sometimes utterly stupid, non-practical and illogical reasons but at some point in your life, you will have to come across these unpleasant individuals or groups. I learnt that the hard way. I had the people whom I
thought were my bestfriends going against me. It's true when people say, "
One's attitude towards something can speak volumes about their character." So now I kno.
I can see clearly now.If I'm not worth to you, then I shouldn't be bothered about you either. Why should I still stand up for people who don't even give a damn about me? But why is it that I keep falling into the same old destructive patterns? It's like I purposely set up myself to be hurt, time and time again. It's like I'm asking for it so I probably deserve it. But don't worry, soon I won't be here no more. Soon, you won't even remember my name.
At the end of the day, you can only hold your head up so high and then you've come to realise that no one really sees you for who and what you really are. It's a sad situation but I'm going to have to adapt to it. It's the only way I can push myself back on the right path and move forward. So I won't be stuck in this vicious downward spiral no more. I'm gonna save it for people who matter.
But right at this moment right now, I’d give anything; I swear anything, to
leave. Leave this stupid country. Leave my piles of ridiculous non-stop hits assignments. Leave the people who I
thought I knew. Leave my stupid condescending life. Leave the pain, the suffering, the
humiliation. Leave the emotional baggage behind. Give me a good reason why I should even stay? There’s no reason for me to stay. No reason at all. Not even one. I want to find my life somewhere else. Start anew. On my own. Anything will be better than staying here. I'm drained. I wanna leave.
For good.
