“You think you kno me, but you have no idea.”
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WHEN HOPE BEGINS TO FADE
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 || 2:05 AM
IT IS TRUE. Taking care of a sick pet is never an easy task. I knew it was hard. I never thought it'd be
this tough either. There's so much time we consumed, just to make him eat his medications. You kno how much patience it takes for him to just swallow the pill in? Have you ever had one of those moments when you totally don't wanna cry, but...
you're not quite sure what else to do?And It didn't help one bit that I just had a FEW tiffs with the sister. She's the one who gets super angry in an argument even though you're practically talking to them, they're like shouting at you. It sucks, badly. Because she was losing control and I was trying so hard to breathe it in. People think if you love somebody deep enough, then everything is just gonna work out. People thought wrong. They are so wrong.
I'm becoming like an emotionless blob
I'm not allowed to have any feelings
I'm forced to hold everything in
And one more pinch and i'll explode
For real.These days, I realised that I've always been the one who advice people to stay positive when secretly, I'm tired of being so positive. I keep telling myself, I must not fall, that I must stand tall yet despite the fake exterior I was trying to show, although it would be better if I was, I was a hypocrite and for that is my big fat apology to those people since the
new year's approaching. I'm always saying to myself there are worse problems out there, taking chances, always telling people to live their life yet I feel almost dead inside.
Believe me, I've tried being positive, but there's only so much times you can pick yourself up. And I just can't do it anymore. You kno how numbing the pain of hating yourself is? It just makes you want to push everybody away from you, especially the people who care about you the most. But you can't, not if you plan on ever being happy.
And
for you who stood by me, I thank you.
Thank you for keeping me sane,
still.You kno who you are.
& 2010 is nearingg.
I'm honestly not looking forward to the new year,
It's like a year closer to death. Happy New Year in advance anyway!
My sick baby has a bandage. =(
It looks cute on him though
I wasn't feeling it.
