“You think you kno me, but you have no idea.”
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TRUTH IS, I AM DONE PRETENDING.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009 || 4:12 AM
I am a trembling mess from hip to knee. There's a terrible heat, a looseness in my innards that makes me want to dig my fists between my thighs. It is a confusing feeling - somewhere between diarrhea and utter despair.
Diarrhea & Despair.
A whirlpool of emotions, much?
You bet.
I don't kno where this is coming from. Others have it worse than me, yet they're able to get up, brush themselves off & move on. Why can't I do that? Why must I be someone who broods over it & go on analysing when I kno for sure that nothing's gonna change? Why am I the person who absorbs the experiences of others and go, "Wow, I wish my life was that way." Why can't I say that I'm grateful for whatever that has happened & mean it?
For being this way, I hate myself.
I suppose I just can't stop myself from giving myself feedback. I have got to stop thinking and building structures in my head. I have got to start speaking up, I have got to give myself a bloody break. I feel so alone.
Ps: Thank You Flint, Marissa and Sufyan Adriyan.
Okay. Ugh. Enough of that.
Let's talk about school.
So, school has been cool.
Only the schedule's timings kinda odd. Like first lesson can end as early as 12pm and next lesson could be as late as 4pm. -.- I could grow a beard just waiting for next lesson to begin. Madness! So while we're at it, here's some pictures taken at school to end this off with.
The cheena. The malaya. The international. =D
Marissa, kawan lama. =)
Okay, I gotta go now. I I have plenty of assignments to complete & I'm hoping that I won't screw up. Take care all!
